Stash busting tips

The Queen is highly amused by LA Quilter's failing stash busting attempts recorded on her blog. This weeks tally:
Busted: 288.00 yards
Purchased: 554.75 yards
Net YTD: <266.75> yards busted

Clearly my citizens need Royal stash busting tips:

1. Re-calulate.
Switch to metric. 266.75 yards is only 243.91 meters. See- a much lower figure already.

2. Re-organise
Take every fabric in your stash that might go in a project you have on the go. Everything. So if you have eight pieces of potential backing and ten possible bindings gather them all up. Place them all together in a project box/sack/ car boot/ shed/ whatever it fits in. Bingo. Not stash anymore- a work in progress.

3. Re-deploy.
Put the fabric under the floorboards. Not stash anymore. Insulation.

4. Re-locate
Team up with another stash challenged buddy. Take a chunk of your stash to her house. Let her have it visit her for a while. We all like to pet and stroke fabric. She'll babysit for you. She'll even pet sit. You've got to bet she will stash sit. Of course you will have to reciprocate but you have to give her stuff back so it can never be amalgamated into your stash, now can it?

5. Re-define.
LA Quilter said,
"One thing occurred to me yesterday. I have always been so sentimental about my stash. I've cherished it like a beloved pet. Those FQ towers were way too pretty to actually use. The Robyn Pandolph closet made my heart go pitty-pat when I opened the door."
The Queen decrees that such fabric shall not be defined as stash. It was created by a designer who spent a lot of time paint and effort to get that end result. It is Art. Frame it. Display it on a plinth.

6. Remember
To pre-wash your fabrics. We know we should but do we? No? And why should we? Because if you take that fabric off the shelf and place in the wicker basket - bingo! Not stash anymore. Laundry.

7. Record
Fabric changes every year. Imagine what a social record of textile design is in your cupboard. Take a square of each and keep it in an album. Say you have 175 fabrics. 3 inches square of each is a reduction of - well, I have no idea, but I am sure it is some kind of reduction.

8. Re-position politically
Sign up to the Communist party. Now your stash doesn't belong to you. It belongs to all your comrades equally. Of course it is your duty to the People to store it.

If none of the above work stash can always be sent to the Queen who will give it a good home.